[ It's gotten better. The nightmares. They aren't a nightly occurrence as they had been fresh after the mission on Mesa, but they're still an occasional nuisance. An unwelcome visitor into dreams that should be about baseball or cute girls! Junpei knows what's about to happen as the landscape of Mesa unfolds before his eyes, but it doesn't stop him from screaming. He screams the whole way through the massacre and when he wakes up, he's drenched in cold sweat and his throat is hoarse. Did some of that screaming make it into the real world?
God. He hopes not.
Junpei sits for a moment, catching his breath. It was just a dream. Just a dream. It had been a reality once nearly a month ago, but that's not now. That's not tonight. So he just needs to breathe. Maybe walk around a bit to regulate himself. Junpei swings his legs over the bed and at least has the forethought to throw on a pair of sweats that were on the floor nearby. It's not just him in the apartment anymore (thankfully), and Tristan doesn't need to see Junpei in just his boxers. If they were awake anyway.
He opens the door and heads out, trying to be quiet, as he makes his way to the kitchen to grab a glass of water. ]
[Tristan is already at the door when Junpei opens it, eyes large and skin faintly lit. the distress was audible to keen elf ears, and prolonged enough that they roused from meditation to linger and wonder what threshold denoted a need for intervention. Junpei isn't like the stock of warriors and scholars of Badger Hill, and as far as they know, isn't experienced in enduring horror and bloodshed. to them, he's closer to the youth of Traint who worked and played fairly untouched by such things.
time to learn, it seems.]
Junpei.
[they do not startle, having tensed already upon hearing his feet plod to the door; only their hair ruffles with the rush of air from its opening. one wrinkled hand is lifting and curled into a gentle fist for knocking. alert and concerned, they do not hesitate to fix their eyes on him to scan for injury.]
[ Junpei rears back when Tristan is just Right There. ]
Jesus, dude!
[ A hand comes to his chest as though to keep his pounding heart contained. And oh. If Tristan is there, that must have meant Junpei had been pretty vocal during his nightmare. His cheeks burn with a mild shame. ]
[they take the jolt in stride, wincing only at the eyes before relaxing; the hand that had raised to knock tilts and opens palm-up, an entreating gesture.]
I was not asleep. I heard your distress... I meant to see if you needed help.
[ He's not sure how to respond to that -- so unused to anyone checking in on him or even giving a shit. A hand crosses his chest to scratch at his bare shoulder and he keeps his eyes fixed to the side. ]
It was just a dream.
[ He mumbles. But it's going to happen again. He knows it. So he should probably warn Tristan of that fact. ]
But it was real. And it keeps coming back to haunt me. I don't know what I can do to make it stop, dude. Apart from just not sleeping.
[A haunting? A curse of sorts? Tristan wonders on the implications, on what resources they may have to help counter it. without much information, there's not much they can consider beyond wildly flinging magic around, and that won't do.
they look Junpei over with concern, then gesture, turning to the side to no longer block the door.]
Will you tell me more about it? If it won't distress you further.
[ It's kind of a hard place to be in, isn't it? It distresses him either way. Whether he talks about it. Whether he doesn't talk about it. There's just no escaping it. But Tristan offers so kindly to be a listening ear, and Junpei knows they won't judge him. They would never judge him. But it's still not easy. It had unfortunately been beaten into him at a young age that real men didn't talk about their feelings.
At the same time, what good would it do to hold onto it alone? Maybe Tristan would have some advice, having lived in a different sort of world from Junpei. So, reluctantly he nods and takes a step out of his room, heading for the couch in the living area. Junpei gestures for Tristan to follow and he turns on a table side lamp so they're not hanging out in the darkness before he settles down -- grabbing the throw from the back of the couch and wrapping it around himself like a protective shield. ]
[Tristan blinks a few times to adjust to the light, the eerie glow of their skin abated in it. they sit, turned in Junpei's direction to fully regard him, not very cognizant of how intimidating that bald-faced attention can be. it's what they would want: to be wholly seen and considered. their aged, scarred hands rest idle on their lap - a surface they can touch and twitch at in lieu of reaching out.
at the question, the attentive expression grows somber.]
I have, yes.
[so Junpei has, as well? the very idea hurts to consider, but...]
[ He nods. There's a gravity in Tristan's tone, so it seems they understand. How difficult this all is. ]
Sorry...
[ He hates that Tristan knows this pain. Drawing in a shaky breath, Junpei forces himself to speak. ]
And really, yeah. That's what all this comes from. Seeing people die. But not just die, dude. They were torn to pieces in front of me. And there wasn't a single thing I could do to stop it. I want to just forget it, but I can't. For some reason, I remember every gruesome detail. It replays in my dreams. It comes to my mind during the day if I don't keep myself busy enough. It's always there. Just ready to resurface...and I don't know what to do to make it better.
[the poor boy. Tristan's eyes wince with sympathy, hands tightening their grip on each other to remain in place.
You're lucky, Marcel had told them, to not remember anything. The rest of us have to relive our pain.
it's possible he was right, but the absence of what should be there is its own kind of hurt.
is it better or worse than being haunted by such violence, though? Tristan cannot say. an arrow can pierce the hide of a boar and do little, where that same arrow would skewer the rabbit. it's all relative, isn't it?
There wasn't a single thing I could do to stop it. Tristan fixes on that.]
Do you...blame yourself? For being unable to stop it.
[ He looks up at the question and then eyes move toward the ceiling. That's a complicated one. Junpei knows there's physically nothing he could have done. Yet if he hadn't been the target of those who were attacking him, they wouldn't have died. More than that... ]
They died so I could live. The person who killed them was doing it to save my life. So I guess more than wishing I could have stopped it...I kinda think it should have been me. Not them. They already have it hard enough with their world about to die. They could have at least had a little more time...
[ And honestly it's not as though Junpei is the strongest or bravest person here. Losing him likely wouldn't affect the whole of Etraya. Not one bit. ]
[Tristan watches him, heart squeezing with sorrow. to feel one's self as the source of such loss is...terrible. relatable. and though he may not have wielded the blade that slaughtered, to feel the invisible strings that bind him to its source, to feel its movements...no wonder it haunts him.]
Does it make you feel better? Imagining if it were you instead. [is there consolation in the dream-drama of things that cannot be? in the heart puppeting the ghosts of the dead in such a way as to justify the enduring pain, to try and rationalize the irrational?
[ It's a good question. One that causes Junpei to pause, uncertain. ]
I don't know. I don't think so? It's more nothing has really been making me feel better. Apart from talking to friends and trying to get back to a normal routine. I guess the thought is...if it had been me, I wouldn't be feeling this. I wouldn't feel anything at all. If that makes sense...?
[ He doesn't know if it does. It barely makes sense to him. Going through all of this, figuring it out. There's no playbook on the right thing to do or how to speed-run being okay again. ]
Heh. Don't suppose your healing powers can heal a messed up mind, can they?
[the recognition is quick to hit, and when it does, Tristan brightens, so pleased to hear his voice that they very nearly miss the question. that slight pause helps, actually.
they blink, then nod.] Some, yes. That is, I... I have been in their company, in a sense. But...what is it you wish to know?
You haven't noticed any... actual hauntings in Crystal Lake, have you? I was under the impression that it was all fake.
[Maaaybe he was a little hasty in saying following the whisper would be fine alone. But can he just say that? So instead a little consultation won't hurt.]
[why do u think Tristan was concerned about that. E-Soul. E-soul man.
for now, they look thoughtful.]
...It's not impossible, I will say. Dead or unhoused spirits don't give off a sense of the arcane the way magic does, so they tend to hide well. [and is why...Tristan never noticed like...a fair number of people they met in the Mothwood were already dead??? it's a whole thing.] If Aurora and the machines are honest in the intention of that place, then the things going awry definitely lead credence to the notion.
But... It does make me wonder as to whether those souls were already present and perhaps disrupted by the construction or...something else drew them there in their restlessness.
Mm. [it's a good thought. they tilt their head and think.] Perhaps, in taking a better look at the grounds the parks have been curated on...if we find some sign of previous settlement, some notion of disrupted ruins, that would be strong evidence...
Edited (i cannot type sign twice in one sentence i'll be shot on sight) Date: 2026-04-22 06:22 pm (UTC)
[E-Soul switches to video, feed facing outwards, so Tristan can see where: it's one of the houses, front door ajar, affording a glimpse of the hallway. The resolution makes the shadows within shift strangely. There's a number and name affixed to the outer wall.]
Something just... interfered with my electronics. [He's faintly disturbed by that, but cuts off his complaint to say:] Can you hear that?
[The whisper, coming from inside now. He isn't sure if the earpiece is sensitive enough to pick the sound out from ambient noise and at a distance.]
[oh wow. Junpei has yet to show Tristan a proper shaky-cam horror film, so this can be considered the first!
how unfortunate that it is real.
Tristan listens very carefully, but finds themself growing impatient and frustrated with the limitations of the technology (you cannot beat elf hearing, but it works better in the room yanno?? they can't even properly hear E-Soul's presence).
that said, they're moving.]
I'm coming to find you. If it is safe to find the exit, please do so. Otherwise--
[Tristan's assertion and quick action does take him aback - is it really that dangerous? But if he wasn't willing to hear their judgement, he wouldn't have called. E-Soul gives the house one last look, then retreats to the street to wait.
Nothing prevents him from doing so, but he gets the odd sensation of being watched. The whisper fades, yet never entirely, like it somehow exists on the edge of hearing.]
[the call from further in the park precedes the sight of them approaching, trotting briskly through the dimly-lit gloom, themself faintly aglow from veins exposed to the air. their eyes are bright, too, as a cat's would be at night. good ol' darkvision.
they slow to step up to him, scanning him over for hazard or harm.]
What more can you tell me of the whispering? Do you recall?
action!
Date: 2026-02-28 11:40 am (UTC)God. He hopes not.
Junpei sits for a moment, catching his breath. It was just a dream. Just a dream. It had been a reality once nearly a month ago, but that's not now. That's not tonight. So he just needs to breathe. Maybe walk around a bit to regulate himself. Junpei swings his legs over the bed and at least has the forethought to throw on a pair of sweats that were on the floor nearby. It's not just him in the apartment anymore (thankfully), and Tristan doesn't need to see Junpei in just his boxers. If they were awake anyway.
He opens the door and heads out, trying to be quiet, as he makes his way to the kitchen to grab a glass of water. ]
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Date: 2026-02-28 01:13 pm (UTC)time to learn, it seems.]
Junpei.
[they do not startle, having tensed already upon hearing his feet plod to the door; only their hair ruffles with the rush of air from its opening. one wrinkled hand is lifting and curled into a gentle fist for knocking. alert and concerned, they do not hesitate to fix their eyes on him to scan for injury.]
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Date: 2026-03-01 01:21 pm (UTC)Jesus, dude!
[ A hand comes to his chest as though to keep his pounding heart contained. And oh. If Tristan is there, that must have meant Junpei had been pretty vocal during his nightmare. His cheeks burn with a mild shame. ]
I-I'm okay. It was just a bad dream, that's all.
[ He looks back at Tristan with a small frown. ]
Did I wake you up?
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Date: 2026-03-01 01:57 pm (UTC)I was not asleep. I heard your distress... I meant to see if you needed help.
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Date: 2026-03-01 05:23 pm (UTC)It was just a dream.
[ He mumbles. But it's going to happen again. He knows it. So he should probably warn Tristan of that fact. ]
But it was real. And it keeps coming back to haunt me. I don't know what I can do to make it stop, dude. Apart from just not sleeping.
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Date: 2026-03-01 05:26 pm (UTC)they look Junpei over with concern, then gesture, turning to the side to no longer block the door.]
Will you tell me more about it? If it won't distress you further.
cw: allusion to parental abuse
Date: 2026-03-02 11:02 am (UTC)At the same time, what good would it do to hold onto it alone? Maybe Tristan would have some advice, having lived in a different sort of world from Junpei. So, reluctantly he nods and takes a step out of his room, heading for the couch in the living area. Junpei gestures for Tristan to follow and he turns on a table side lamp so they're not hanging out in the darkness before he settles down -- grabbing the throw from the back of the couch and wrapping it around himself like a protective shield. ]
You ever see anyone die before, Tristan?
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Date: 2026-03-02 12:51 pm (UTC)at the question, the attentive expression grows somber.]
I have, yes.
[so Junpei has, as well? the very idea hurts to consider, but...]
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Date: 2026-03-03 12:25 pm (UTC)Sorry...
[ He hates that Tristan knows this pain. Drawing in a shaky breath, Junpei forces himself to speak. ]
And really, yeah. That's what all this comes from. Seeing people die. But not just die, dude. They were torn to pieces in front of me. And there wasn't a single thing I could do to stop it. I want to just forget it, but I can't. For some reason, I remember every gruesome detail. It replays in my dreams. It comes to my mind during the day if I don't keep myself busy enough. It's always there. Just ready to resurface...and I don't know what to do to make it better.
no subject
Date: 2026-03-03 12:32 pm (UTC)You're lucky, Marcel had told them, to not remember anything. The rest of us have to relive our pain.
it's possible he was right, but the absence of what should be there is its own kind of hurt.
is it better or worse than being haunted by such violence, though? Tristan cannot say. an arrow can pierce the hide of a boar and do little, where that same arrow would skewer the rabbit. it's all relative, isn't it?
There wasn't a single thing I could do to stop it. Tristan fixes on that.]
Do you...blame yourself? For being unable to stop it.
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Date: 2026-03-05 01:36 pm (UTC)They died so I could live. The person who killed them was doing it to save my life. So I guess more than wishing I could have stopped it...I kinda think it should have been me. Not them. They already have it hard enough with their world about to die. They could have at least had a little more time...
[ And honestly it's not as though Junpei is the strongest or bravest person here. Losing him likely wouldn't affect the whole of Etraya. Not one bit. ]
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Date: 2026-03-05 01:44 pm (UTC)Does it make you feel better? Imagining if it were you instead. [is there consolation in the dream-drama of things that cannot be? in the heart puppeting the ghosts of the dead in such a way as to justify the enduring pain, to try and rationalize the irrational?
they wonder.]
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Date: 2026-03-08 11:06 pm (UTC)I don't know. I don't think so? It's more nothing has really been making me feel better. Apart from talking to friends and trying to get back to a normal routine. I guess the thought is...if it had been me, I wouldn't be feeling this. I wouldn't feel anything at all. If that makes sense...?
[ He doesn't know if it does. It barely makes sense to him. Going through all of this, figuring it out. There's no playbook on the right thing to do or how to speed-run being okay again. ]
Heh. Don't suppose your healing powers can heal a messed up mind, can they?
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From:un: e-soul; voice
Date: 2026-04-22 04:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2026-04-22 05:05 pm (UTC)they blink, then nod.] Some, yes. That is, I... I have been in their company, in a sense. But...what is it you wish to know?
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Date: 2026-04-22 05:58 pm (UTC)[...refocusing...]
You haven't noticed any... actual hauntings in Crystal Lake, have you? I was under the impression that it was all fake.
[Maaaybe he was a little hasty in saying following the whisper would be fine alone. But can he just say that? So instead a little consultation won't hurt.]
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Date: 2026-04-22 06:02 pm (UTC)for now, they look thoughtful.]
...It's not impossible, I will say. Dead or unhoused spirits don't give off a sense of the arcane the way magic does, so they tend to hide well. [and is why...Tristan never noticed like...a fair number of people they met in the Mothwood were already dead??? it's a whole thing.] If Aurora and the machines are honest in the intention of that place, then the things going awry definitely lead credence to the notion.
But... It does make me wonder as to whether those souls were already present and perhaps disrupted by the construction or...something else drew them there in their restlessness.
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Date: 2026-04-22 06:20 pm (UTC)How can you tell which applies?
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Date: 2026-04-22 06:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2026-04-22 06:53 pm (UTC)[Another pause, then:]
I should have asked you before I started following.
[With uncanny timing, E-Soul hisses a breath, and a loud bang follows. A slamming door? Gate?]
no subject
Date: 2026-04-22 07:31 pm (UTC)...E-Soul. Where...where are you right now?
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Date: 2026-04-23 12:22 pm (UTC)[E-Soul switches to video, feed facing outwards, so Tristan can see where: it's one of the houses, front door ajar, affording a glimpse of the hallway. The resolution makes the shadows within shift strangely. There's a number and name affixed to the outer wall.]
Something just... interfered with my electronics. [He's faintly disturbed by that, but cuts off his complaint to say:] Can you hear that?
[The whisper, coming from inside now. He isn't sure if the earpiece is sensitive enough to pick the sound out from ambient noise and at a distance.]
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Date: 2026-04-23 01:21 pm (UTC)how unfortunate that it is real.
Tristan listens very carefully, but finds themself growing impatient and frustrated with the limitations of the technology (you cannot beat elf hearing, but it works better in the room yanno?? they can't even properly hear E-Soul's presence).
that said, they're moving.]
I'm coming to find you. If it is safe to find the exit, please do so. Otherwise--
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Date: 2026-04-23 02:34 pm (UTC)[Tristan's assertion and quick action does take him aback - is it really that dangerous? But if he wasn't willing to hear their judgement, he wouldn't have called. E-Soul gives the house one last look, then retreats to the street to wait.
Nothing prevents him from doing so, but he gets the odd sensation of being watched. The whisper fades, yet never entirely, like it somehow exists on the edge of hearing.]
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Date: 2026-04-23 03:20 pm (UTC)[the call from further in the park precedes the sight of them approaching, trotting briskly through the dimly-lit gloom, themself faintly aglow from veins exposed to the air. their eyes are bright, too, as a cat's would be at night. good ol' darkvision.
they slow to step up to him, scanning him over for hazard or harm.]
What more can you tell me of the whispering? Do you recall?
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